Frustration


mia didn’t quite slept through, last night.as a result, today, ted and i, woke up feeling very groggy! it felt like, she was back to the days, when she was a baby, crying all night long. we were woken up by her tossing and turning, and end up crying at 4 in the morning. i felt her body, and it was warm.that’s it, the fever is back!

she was unwell on monday night, but was OK the next day, but last night, it came back.it didn’t help that besides fever, she’s also having a running nose and a slight dry cough. she cried her lungs out, until she vomitted on our bed.

i do not know what got into me last night, but i was very frustrated and had so much anger to my little girl.i guess, it was because just few nights ago, i changed to a new bedsheets, pillowcase and comforter, and to know, i have to do it all over again, because she throw-up on our bed (and also on her bed too) . of late, the weather is gloomy, and that makes it even harder for our dirty sheets to dry up fast. more pending undry, unclean clothes for me to take care of.

i was so mad, that i decided to ignored her, and quickly clean up the mess, and just left her crying, while ted try to consoled her. i felt like a bad mother, who didn’t have the patient to tolerate with her (what more, she was unwell) . i took few minutes off, before i came back and hug her tightly, and felt so ashamed of myself (with a HUGE guilt too!!) , for treating her the way i do. this is totally not the way to handle a sick child.

somehow, i guess, mia could sense her mommy resentment, and gave me a hard look, macam merajuk gitu. that really broke my heart!

this morning, as we sent her off to the babysitter, she smiled. i felt a little ease, as to know, she’s fine now. oh dear Mia! mommy is very ashamed for losing my patience with you. i’ll promise to be more considerate, and never to lose out like that ever again!ever!

no matter what, you are the love of our life, and our most top priority.

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12 thoughts on “Frustration

  1. Ira dear, don’t be too hard on yourself k. i went thru something similar a couple of days back too. remember us mums are only humans and sometimes everyone lose their cool. but yeah the guilt is really almost impossible to live with. dont worry, im sure mia knows u love her. its just one of those days…

  2. jaja:oh what a coincident! cranky baby = cranky mummy also la uh! oh,hang in there!

    hetz: yaa totally!one of those days!!thx for the heads up dear..need that. can’t wait to go back and hug her even more.

  3. dont worry, u r not a bad mother. with our current trip, i senang jer nak meletup kat my little gir. being delayed on the plane makes me a true biatch and the little girl even more harder to deal with but when we finally got settled and she slept with me that night hugging me, i felt really bad too.

  4. omigosh this is just the entry i need to read..to remind myself that i’m not the only mommy goin thru a similar ordeal…tending to a sick kid, cleaning up vomit, trying to pacify the endless crying…haiyo..penat…this is the part of parenting that really tests my patience: when the kid gets cranky and we don’t know how to make it better 😦

    im spending today feeling guilty and making up for it with lots of hugs n kisses…
    don’t feel bad ira.. ur not alone 😉

  5. yesterday, i was same boat like urs. i was about to browse internet, but my little emir who then was already asleep, terjage and he wanted breast milk.. bengang betul, cos then i hv no chance nak gune laptop..!! hehe.. but yeah..

  6. aida:tu lah, i kept tellin that to myself too.we’re human being,so it is NORMAl uh at times to feel the way we do.thx aida! 🙂

    MDR:u too uh?! musim ke apa ek bebudak sakit ni? hope ur lil one gets well soon too. and thx, knowin im not the only one in this matter.

    mira: alalalal emir. tau tau je mak dia tak masuk tdo lg,tu dia kaco tuh!;P

  7. oowh ira, when u share your motherhood experience in your blog i feel like i’m not alone in dealing with all the mess and tense taking care of a child.. i lose my patient for so many times and not only to my daughter, dgn bapak dia sekali pun kena 😀

  8. erkkkk…mcm penah buat camtuh jek heheh..well, is norm i guess…what is motherhood without challenge aight 😀 currently in changi and dlm process melebamkan diri…heheheh….

  9. newrin:ahaks…ofcoz the father also ‘kena’ one frm Us,if they choose to ignore the situation riggghtt!

    BabyBooned:she’s OK now.yupp2,one of those bad momments!sigh

    leen:babeeeeee..oh!take a good care of urself there!!

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