Happy kids,Happy Marriage?


I had a brief chat with a friend today.Glad to hear,she’s back to her happy self.Earlier this year,she had undergone a divorce.Her marriage ended barely a year.But now,she’s happy,she found someone who she claimed to me,to be The One. ‘Luckily’,from her previous marriage,they didn’t have a child together,so this makes the divorce pretty much ‘easy’ to go through with (easy = no struggling with child custody).

Anyhow,what questions me a few hours ago was a statement from her. “This time,i cant wait to have babies,I wanna be just like you,have baby!And look,how happy you guys are!!” . Well,you see..of course I thanked her for the compliment,but somehow,I don’t quite agree with her in that sense. For me,you can’t judge a happy marriage for having a kid or two.

Marriage nowdays, has become more about mutual happiness and personal satisfaction.To stay happy in a marriage,having children does not neccessarily required.Although,I agree,children can be a source of personal fulfillments for parents,however it is not seen as the key to a successful marriage.So,you asked,what are the factors cited as more important to a successful marriage than children?

Faithfulness, happy sexual relationship, sharing household chores, adequate income, good housing, shared religious beliefs, emotional intimancy,shared tastes and interests. –Source:Pew Research Center

On another note,children and mariage, they tend to amplify what’s already there, making a good marriage much better and sometimes making bad marriages worse -though not always. So,it is how you deal with them together after you have them that can make or break a marriage.Marriage and Parenthood are a whole lot different issues.

Anyhow,I hope she is bless and happy in venturing her new relationship.May she marry this guy for the right reason.

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4 thoughts on “Happy kids,Happy Marriage?

  1. ira…apparently what u wrote is correct. Maybe for them a child can strengthen the relationship in marriage. Sometimes it is true and sometime not. There are people who can’t cope up with their marriage after having a child or two. Having a child is not as simple as ‘making’ them…btol tak? Both parties must be ready to help each other and be supportive. On the other hand, Alhamdulillah..so far we can cope kan ira..Thanks to our soulmate for being such a good daddy to the kids wpun sorang tak mampu bangun malam and sorang lagik tak mampu basuh beron kekekeke…

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